Tuesday, May 22, 2012 @2:33 AM
Dear Piglet,
I saw the picture of you going out with grace and gang. It kinda reminded me of the time we had dinner at Texas chicken before you flew off for your exchange. Looking at the pictures, it makes me wonder how I'll ever integrate back if we ever get back together. I'm sure there will be many questions floating in their mind. I deserve it but what have you deserve to go thru everything you went thru? I recently worked at a private birthday party where the girlfriend prepared the entire party for the girlfriend(They were les) Planning a costume party with murder mystery solving. Reading up on murder plots and coming up with the entire plot for the game herself. It makes me wonder what have I done for you during the relationship, what have you done for me during the relationship. How have we tried to improve our relationship. It sets me thinking about what I'm looking for in a relationship. Thank you for making me a better man. Just to rant out! On a side note, I really hate going home! The first night I'm home, my parents started quarrelling and my sister cried. I got so pissed of that I went back to hall straight away. Thank god I rented it over the holidays. Yesterday when we tried to have a family dinner since dunno how many zillion years, my dad just had to piss me off by saying wait for me to buy the food back die alr. It's only 8pm and I was teaching tuition for christ's sake! Didn't hear him say the same thing when he asked me for money, still went down with me to the ATM. I totally understand that he's my father and I should be more tolerant but his ego is really getting on my nerves. When can't he except the fact that he's no longer working and not bringing in any income. I'm finally going for my getaway this Wednesday. KL trip with val, pq, kai and wy. Looking forward! :)))
Love,
Big Pig
Friday, May 18, 2012 @3:18 PM
Dear Piglet,
How's work so far ? I see you are working at Ogilvy & Mather >:) Holidays have been quite good so far. I managed to do quite alot of stuff which I wanted to do for a very long time. First thing on my list was to go back to commonwealth, which I successfully did last Wednesday :) I found a super cute AM baby there ! HAHA! She kinda reminded me of the one we saw at the zoo on your birthday. I remember bringing you to commonwealth on our real first date after my H1N1 quarantine because that place really held a lot of happy memories for me! Bo hui is finally reunited with us again! I didn't tell you what happened right ? During the first part of the year we had some misunderstanding and we didn't talk about it until near the exam period. We had our first dinner of the year at 2D1N ! Korean buffet at Tanjong Pagar >< The food was like damnnnnnnnnnnn awesome and quite cheap also ! $23/pax during dinner time but the gotta queue for it. LOL! For some strange reason when I was at Tanjong Pagar, I walked towards Amoy Street Food Centre. Some time a year ago, you were having your internship at Aviva and I met you for lunch there. We had BCM and it was the first time I witness the "tissue packet to book seat" in action LIVE! Something I never told you last time. I could well meet you for lunch every week(Kinda ideal) or even everyday(but I know you won't want this) but I didn't because I wanted to make that one time special. Like pretend I'm not that kind of person who will do it but I do it for you once. Then it'll make you like super happy ? HEHE! Sounds kinda stupid but I just wanted to make you happy. LOL! It's like I know how silly I am writing all these here hanging on to the slightest hope that one day you will come back and read it. At the end of the day, writing here helps me to keep my emotions in tact. At least there's somewhere I can vomit all these thoughts and feelings out. People always tell me to let go and move on, there are many fishes in the sea blah blah blah... I tried, not that I didn't. But how to when everything reminds me of you ? Even my facebook has you under the favourite list and all of your activities will appear under my notification. There were times where I wanted to remove it, but I didn't know how to. Maybe its just an excuse for me to hang on :/ I know its dangerous fueling myself with false hopes until next year when the time comes and everything explodes and I'll feel even shittier than ever. But for now, I just wanna choose the option that makes me feel better. For all we know, there might not be tomorrow. At nights when I sleep alone in my room, I will think of you. I really wish you would tell me you miss me too :'( I'd still have dreams about going back in time and having the chance to make everything right. The most kua zhang one was still the one about waking up back at the time when I was back in secondary school. It was damn sian that I had to go thru O levels, JC1, retain, JC2 and finally NS plus the 9 months emotional roller coaster ride before eventually ending up with you again. If god gave me this option, I'll do it because I felt that everything is still worthwhile. I guess regret makes us cherish what we have even more because we do not have the chance to change the past.
Love,
Big Pig
Wednesday, May 09, 2012 @4:07 AM
Dear Piglet,
I see someone has got a job now ^_^ How's the first day at work ? :D I'm pretty bored but i don't really want to get a full time job because its like the first holiday i really get to relax after a long long long long year. I have 7 students now ! My entire Sunday is packed TTM! Sometimes it really gets boring teaching but when you see the money come in then its a different story all together. LOL! I went for my dental at KTP yesterday. As i walked past Northpoint, I had flashbacks of us. I remember me accompanying you to Cold Storage to get your supplies before you left for your exchange, I remembered us walking through that door towards the Cinema, I remembered us sitting at the rooftop playground HTHTing before our movie started. Maybe for the past few months there were many things going on and i didn't get to quality time to sit down and reflect on what has happened. I missed you and I tried telling you but only receive cold replies from you again. I really dislike the feeling when I see it as "read" but I only get a reply some time much later. Sometimes i really wonder if you missed me too but i know i wouldn't get a reply even if i did ask. At the back of my head, I really really really hope that you don't really wanna do this but you have a strong reason for doing so. I know i have been kinda immature, trying to bush you off eventhough u were trying to show concern for me as a friend but it was really tough on me giving myself false hopes. I'm sorry for my behaviour and that's why i re-opened this link again, in hope that someday you will come back to read all these. I'm sorry too for lying about the test, using it as an excuse for my mistake. I hope that someday when you come back and read this, you will understand why i did it. I was really really desperate to get you back but it totally backfired and I end up hurting you even deeper. Not the ending that I had in mind. At the end of the day, I just wanna let you know that I still love you and i look forward to the day we can really talk to each other again :')
Happy 2yrs and 8 months :)
Love,
Big Pig